Earlier this week, we toured the witch's kitchen (here), but we decided we didn't want to eat there. Did you hear her screech when we were leaving?
Somebody (or some THING) grabbed my arm and pulled me back. You were able to get away. I'm so glad you came back to check on me. We have to talk Witch Gertie into letting us leave without eating.
I've noticed on Pinterest that everyone is wearing a scarf this season. (Yes, witches browse Pinterest too.) So, I got a stylish scarf to wear for the occasion.
I know my shoes are looking a little worn, but when you get a pair broken in, they are just too comfortable to wear anything else.
When you see how much I love my pets, you'll realize that I'm not a bad witch.
The stew is still cooking, so sit down and let me tell your fortune with my tarot cards. Yes, I do have two left hands. Thank you for noticing. When I applied for Warlock University, they said I didn't even have to take the entrance exam, because they knew my two left hands would make me a good Warlock.
You didn't like the looks of the cards I drew?
I have plenty more tarot cards. Let's see if I can do better this time. See how nice I am.
Look, I even ordered party favors decorated with my image.
I see you're checking out my transportation. You want to go on a sky trip with me?
Did you notice that it costs fifty cents? Oh, I forgot. Laurie's a bargain hunter. I'm sure she's too tight to spend money for a ride.
While you're waiting for the stew to cook, help yourself to some of my spider dip.
And you have to try my famous Bat Fangs Cheese Ball. Oh, you like the cheese ball stand? My friend had that made up in the image of his feet and tail. I was so happy he gave it to me.
What did you just say those crackers look like somebody did on them?
I have a place set for Laurie and one for her friend.
You'll notice I even got out the fine silver.
I don't think you'll need it because my stew is always delicious, but I supplied the salt and pepper shakers in case anyone likes too much salt and pepper in their stew.
I chilled the House Wine for you, so help yourselves.
I only use Grade A ingredients.
Yes, I know some of my ingredients are trying to escape the stew. That just proves how fresh my ingredients are.
Be careful around that pumpkin silhouette of my grandmother. I'm very sentimental about it, because she's the one who inspired me to go into the profession.
Oh no! Here comes Boris with dessert, and you haven't even had your stew yet. That man is so incompetent. I got him on sale at Walgreens years ago, and he is living proof that you get what you pay for.
I just had to buy that pillow, because the girl looks just like my daughter, Matilda. That's my little nephew, Bony, hanging around on the clock.
Now sit yourself down and have a glass of wine and some stew. Boris can wait to serve your dessert.
Thank you for dining with me today. I hope you don't get sick. Cackle, cackle, cackle.
(I apologize for the photo-heavy post, but I knew if I didn't have plenty of proof, nobody would ever believe this really happened.)