Monday, February 22, 2010

PLEASE JOIN ME FOR TEA AND A LITTLE CHAT

 flowers npknrngs


Come on in. Sit down. Let’s have some tea. I’m so glad you could join me. I have a tendency to monopolize the conversation, so feel free to interrupt me if I do that. The good thing about chatting via the internet is that nobody interrupts me. The bad thing about chatting via the internet is that nobody interrupts me. I can go on and on and on…! The good thing about reading my chatting on my blog is that you don’t have to “listen” to me go on and on. With one click, you can go to a more entertaining blog.


bee hive tea pot


Does it take my blog a long time to load on your computer? I really like posting big pictures, but I know that might make my blog load more slowly, and I probably don’t post anything that makes it worth the wait.  I don’t know if it is loading more slowly since I began using Live Writer, but I LOVE using Live Writer, so I’m not giving that up!  After I click on a blog, if it’s not loading quickly, I minimize it on my computer and go visit another blog. After I’ve visited another blog, I click on the blog I minimized, and it has usually loaded. If you visit a blog that loads slowly, you might try that. Just a thought.


HARRODS POT


Is there an Amy Vanderbilt for blogging? How about it, Miss Janice -- Are you writing the blogging etiquette book? Does blogging even require etiquette? If you visit me, does blog etiquette require that I visit your blog? NAPKIN

If I join a weekly blog event or a blog party, does etiquette require that I visit every link listed for that event? I’ve read complaints on some blogs about participants who don’t visit every blog link on the list. I have a full-time job; I occasionally do a little cleaning around the house; and I attempt to visit with my husband, children, and grandchildren when they are around. Some of these events have so many participants, that visiting all of them could turn into a full-time job. Does blog etiquette require that I not join the events if I know I can’t visit each participating blog?

sugr creamer

If I join a blog event, does etiquette require that I leave a comment on the hosting blog? Can my comment just be a thank you for hosting without saying anything about what they posted for the event? If I didn’t comment on the host blogger’s post, I would feel that I had attended a party without telling the hostess how nice their party was. Of course, I've never joined a blog event that the host post wasn't something that I wanted to comment about.flowers up close


If I win a prize on a blog, does etiquette require that I show that prize on my blog? Of course, if I win a prize, I’m always so excited, I can’t wait to show it on my blog.

tea in cups

If someone says something nice about my blog, or posts a photo from my blog, should I thank them on my blog? I have trouble with this one, because I feel like I am tooting my own horn. I’m not very good at tooting my horn, because I haven't had the opportunity to do that much in my life, and I know that tooting a horn takes practice. Although I am sooooo flattered and honored if someone likes something on my blog enough to post something about it on their blog, I usually do not mention it on my blog. Am I being rude?


tea crooked


Does any of this really matter? I know we Southern gals are kind of into etiquette. Am I just one of those silly Southerners who thinks etiquette is important, no matter where I am or what I’m doing? If there is no book, and if there are no rules, how is a blogger supposed to know the etiquette of blogging? I know that, in our corner of Blogville, etiquette is still alive and well. I just don’t know if there are rules of etiquette, or even if there should be rules of etiquette. I assume that, if I don’t follow the unwritten rules of blog etiquette, I will not have “friends” on my blog. Since I love my blogging friends, I definitely don't want to offend any of them.


Before I end this post, I am going to try to take care of at least one of my lapses in etiquette. I really am so honored that Lady Katherine at Lady Katherine’s Tea Parlor has selected photos from my blog for her “Blog of the Week” twice. Thank you so much Katherine. If you haven’t visited Katherine’s lovely blog, be sure you go see it.


Lady K's Tea Parlor


I am so very honored that Michael at Designs by Gollum had a photo from my blog in her recent newsletter. Thank you so much Michael. I think all of you visit Michael’s blog, but if you don’t receive her newsletter, you really should go over to Designs by Gollum and sign up for it. It is such a treat to open each newsletter and see her beautiful photographs and read what she writes. It’s easy to see why she is a published author.

designs by gol nsltr

Since the name of my blog is “Bargain Hunting AND Chatting”, sometimes I have to be a blabbermouth address the chatting part of my blog title.  I’m afraid I’m one of those people you don’t want to get seated next to on an airplane. I can talk the ears off of an elephant!  Thanks so much for stopping by. I promise if you visit again, I won’t be so chatty! laurie

32 comments:

Tardevil said...

It's funny you're posting about this, because I came over to thank you for your nice comments regarding my front door, and you're posting on etiquette. I don't know the rules, but just try to do the best I can with the 'free' time I'm given. If someone is unhappy about it, I'm sorry, but it's the best I can do. In my opinion, blogging should be fun and not catty/petty. Have a great week!

Mary Ellen said...

Hi Laurie! So many of your questions I am asking myself. It seems that I have less and less time to devout to blogging and have thought about just quitting because I don't want to hurt anyone's feelings by not comment, acknowledging things etc.

Maybe we need to start a guilt free blogging club that gives you a button on your blog stating there are no strings attached when you visit- unless it is the string from the teabag!!

Still peeling wallpaper over my way! Think I might get done Wednesday as I have another little bit of time to devout to this menial and time consuming task!!

blessings
mary

Pat@BPM said...

Hi Laurie
I've asked myself these same questions quite a bit, especially lately. I find I don't participate in the events as regularly as I used to because it was next to impossible to get to everyone on the list and get to those on my list and those that I follow, too. I'm still trying to see everyone on this week's Mosaic Monday and I rarely get to everyone anyway!

Anyhow, I've decided to step away from events, because; A.I can't get to everyone on the list. B. I really need to get away from the computer now and then during the day to save my eyes.

I have one more little post, this week and that will be it till Sunday evening or maybe even Monday. I think all those photos I took at the Orchid Show was the turning point for me. I've spent many hours preparing them for the two posts I did on the show and preparing them for printing. My ancient eyes are crying for a rest!

All of those things you wrote about have been weighing heavily on my mind. I decided to turn over a new leaf for 2010. I guess I'm weaning myself away from the parties and going back to the way I wrote and published the Back Porch, in the early days. After 3 years, I'm proud of my blog and how it's evolved. It's been lots of work and I enjoyed. However, I was beginning to feel like it might turn into a job and cease to be fun. So, I'm slowly making changes.

I'll still participate in an event now and then...I don't get comments from everyone on the lists. I do try to get to the ones who leave me a comment, plus others when I have time. I like the occasional events, rather than weekly. I suppose I should pick one and just do that one, so I will have time for visiting. It's a dilemma.:-)

I appreciate my regular readers so very much. You've been with me through thick and thin. I don't want to lose you. I feel I've been neglectful. So in order to be able to see my blogs and make new bloggy friends, I'm going to have to give up more parties than I already have. I hate to do it, but it's good for me and especially good for my eyes.

Wonderful thought provoking post, Laurie! Thanks!

Foley said...

Laurie - you have asked some very good questions. I love participating in events and I always post the hostess of that event, but when there are 100+ other bloggers joining in the event it is literally impossible to comment on each and every one. (For me that is) I try my best but as with you, there are other things going on in my life and can't spend 10 hours a day blogging.

You make me laugh - as they say up in my country..you're the type of person that could make friends with a fence post! My youngest boy is like that and he is so sweet and endearing!

Maybe in your "spare time" you can write a book on blog etiquette" LOL

GardenofDaisies said...

You always put into words what I am thinking. I have wondered these same things. I think most people do the best they can. Some make more of an effort than others. A few put those buttons on their page that say "Blogging Without Obligation" which is probably the nice way of saying "I don't have time visit you unless you are already in my established circle of bloggy friends". At least they are giving fair warning.

Thanks for the invitation for tea and a chat. I really like your pretty embroidered napkins and teapot rings. And of course I love the daisies in the centerpiece! :-) It is always so nice to visit your blog.

Mellodee said...

I think the reality of time availability must trump any etiquette "requirement". The one thing nearly anyone you talk to agrees on, is we don't know where the time goes and we don't have enough of it! Those old sands through the hour glass are moving a whole lot faster than they used to. If there are a bunch of rules to follow to be sure no one get insulted or embarrassed, it will just end up taking up a lot more time. It also removes the independent spirit of the thing, I think.

I comment if I have something to say. I visit sites that look interesting. I don't do events, because I don't "get" what an event is supposed to be!

Besides the world has enough rules.

I blog because its fun, if its no longer fun, I won't blod. Simple as that.

I do, however, try to acknowledge and visit sites of my "followers".
But heck, I've only got 12 of 'em, so its still easy peasy! If I end up getting hundreds???? I can pretty much guarantee all bets are off!! :)

Happy To Be/ Gl♥ria said...

Great post Laurie...Thanks for the chat and tea...
Girl I don't get to everyone when I do the meme's I mean come on sometimes their are 200 on them and I do have to do others things ha ha!! Blogging is my happy place to me and when its no longer fun I will just quit...I don't know about whats right or wrong just do my own thing...I got away from what I really wanted my blog to be and that was about antiques so this year I have done it more for me...and I try and get back to everyone that leaves a comment pluse the ones I love to visit every day when times permits...But some days I don't have time...Thats why I only post 2 times a week now...Great questions Laurie...Hope you have a GREAT week with the Boss and girl you don't have to get back to me take that time and have a hot cup of tea...Love ya sis...Hugs and smiles Gl♥ria

Kim said...

Hi, I'm not sure if I've been to your blog before. I've been wondering about those same things. I'm always grateful for the hostess, but am guilty of not leaving many "thank you" comments. I do try to visit several of the co-linkers, but never get to all of them unless it's a small party. (Honestly, I think I do better than most, because many times, I don't get any comments from things I link up to...) Okay, now I'm just starting to sound whiny! I've enjoyed my visit here.

Jennifer@3sonsandadaughter said...

Hi, Laurie!
Good post, no scratch that, GREAT post! I've thought of some of your ettiquette queries also. I just do what I think feels right.

I enjoy your blog! I didn't notice too much of a delay loading it. Personally, I prefer the large pictures when viewing others blogs and don't worry too much about load time. I haven't come across any that lock up my computer. By the way, I like the quilts in your header.

Have a lovely day!
Jennifer

Rhondi said...

Hi Laurie
Thanks for the tea. I really enjoyed my chat with you and enjoyed looking at your beautiful tea things. I love the Harrods tea pot. Oh and your header with the quilts is wonderful too!
Don't worry abut the blogging etiquette. If we all responded to everything in blogland we would never get anything else done. Hope you have a great week.
Hugs, Rhondi

Chari at Happy To Design said...

Hi sweet girl...

First of all, I love, love, LOVE your pretty tea, Darlin'! Ohhh...that little beehive teapot and cup are just adorable!!!

Well my friend, I still trying to wake up this morning...my morning ritual of coffee and my blogs! Hehe! Wow...these are all great questions that you have asked and I often "think upon" the same things! I do agree that there is a "blogging etiquette"...even though it may be just a silent but understood thing! I think this experience is different for everyone! I spend alot of time blogging...but I have the time to spend! I certainly understand when bloggers have "other" things that require their time and attention! Quite honestly...I don't know how some of you gals do it! You have such fabulous blogs and yet you work, still have family to take care of, etc. I don't have a job, and it's just honey and I...I put alot of hours into blogging and still can't get around to everyone that I would like to! Blogville has really evolved for me...it was so easy in the beginning when my circle of friends was small! As time has gone on...I have more and more followers and so many blogs that I follow that even with the amount of time that I spend in Blogland...I can't get to everyone! However, I do always try to get back to everyone who has taken the time to leave me a comment! When I'm joining an event or party...I always leave a comment for the hostess!!! I think it is rude to not do so! Like you said, here you're showing up at someone's party and then you don't have the courtesy to speak to them? Hmmm...just being honest! It is one of my pet peeves! When I am participating in an event and there are many, many participants...I at least try to visit those who have visited me. Face it, it's just not humanly possible to go and leave notes at every participant's post when there are hundreds! Hehe!

Sheeesh...I think I've written a book here and guess I should call it quits! Hehe! I really enjoyed reading everyone's comments on this subject! Well Darlin'...I loved my cup of tea and chat with you this morning! You know that I just adore you and your lovely blog!!!

Have a fabulous day, sweet friend!
Love ya,
Chari

Debra@Common Ground said...

Hi Laurie, love "chatting" with you, and so many valid points. I have felt guilty not getting to all the other blogs, but it's just impossible lest you sit here 24/7. Guilt free is what I say. Do the best we can, and then hope everyone out there knows we love and appreciate them!
hugs,
Debra

Glenda/MidSouth said...

Interesting post. I will be returning to read other bloggers' comments.
I have typed and retyped my comment on this so many times, I just deleted it all out and decided to sit back, let my coffee kick in and see what others have to say.
Etiquette ? #1 - Be nice or move on.
It is 10:47 and I am still in my pjs, so I am off to get dressed. :-)
Another cold, gray day out there!
Glenda

Kathysue said...

Laurie, interesting and thought provoking. I think the bottom line here is sincerity. I always wonder how sincere someone is when they go to every single blog that is posted in an event and post a comment. I would much rather see a few sincere comments than the ones that seem like a script. So with that being said I truly think a comment just to comment is not really meaningful. I think we all want to connect with fellow bloggers in a meaningful way and to hop from blog to blog is not very meaningful and so time consuming. People like you are the ones I enjoy. You are a geniunely nice person and I know when you say something you mean it, Gloria is another one that if she say something nice it is from her heart. I just started blogging and I for one want readers to come to my blog because they genuinely like what I have to say. I do not want them to feel obligated. I have so many wonderful blogging friends and the blogging community has been very supportive and I love and appreciate that. I read a post on a blog that totally articulated why I am blogging, You can go here if you are interested.
http://agiftwrappedlife.blogspot.com/2010/02/blog-birthdayno-mystery-to-me.html
Since I have written a book here I must thank you for always being a sincere blogging friend. Hugs Kathysue

Sharing with Sherri said...

Hi Laurie,

I think etiquette and good manners are certainly important, and on that note I apologize for not coming by sooner to thank you for your last visit and your sweet support and concern during my absence. I'm doing much better now. I also really appreciate your continued prayers for my family as well. You are a such good person with a good heart, with a great sense of humor too! I'd be happy to toot the horn for you any ole day!!

Great chatting with you dear friend!!
Hugs,
Sherri:)

The Muse said...

what a delightful tea!
and wonderful conversation... :)

so many have chimed in, and with such insight!

my basic thoughts...
*kindness always
*blog with honor
*faith and family first
*lift up one another
*do what you can~when you can

friends, shall be friends no matter how often you blog or comment...
isn't that marvelous? :)

xinex said...

Hi Laurie, I would love to get answers on all your blogging etiquette inquiries. They are all valid points and I am sure a lot of bloggers would love to see the answers too. Will you blog about it if anybody ever responds? Your tea party is lovely. I love your tea pots and the cups and the napkins and the rings. In short, I love everything...Christine

ThriftyAnnabella said...

Hello - the blog does take a little while to load but it's usually worth the wait. Your answers on blog etiquette are great. I agree that sometimes it is hard to visit all the blogs in a blog party when there are over 100 participants. Have a blessed day!!

Kathleen said...

Sharpening my pencil, so I hope I get the answers correct..
Yes, I think you should leave a comment on the person's blog if they are running the meme..easy enough, we get there to link up, a few more minutes to comment is polite.

If I run an event, I will get to every entry, even if it takes me all week.
That being said, I would never do a weekly event, because I could not find the time to do all that commenting.
Perhaps if the events are too large, they should be every other week or something. A to L one week , and M to Z the next ..LOL..
OR..
the hostess should use a system to visit the blogs that start with a diff letter each week.
I do think it is impt to make the effort to visit once in awhile.
Again, I do not have to worry about that.

However I have taken part in memes where there were less than 30 and the hostess never arrived..

No, you should not be expected to comment on every entry if you participate. I try to comment on as many as possible, and there have been times I did make it to all of them..
I usually don't participate again then..

Now I have a question..
About followers..sometimes people sign up to follow and then you never hear from them again...Are they just lurkers??
If I follow someone it is because I intend to visit again. Is that the way it works? I am just wondering..
And Laurie, I give you an A in blog etiquette..
I do not have a problem with your blog loading, but the ones with music are killer, and many times I just move on..
As for music, I like the option of not hearing it..clicking if I want it.
I lost my sound icon so I have to go to the control panel to turn it off..a pain!
And usually I have my own noise in the background, so I don't want more!!
Nice chatting..the dinner dishes are waiting! :)

Ceekay- Thinkin of Home said...

First of all, thank you for the chat! No, your blog loads fine for me...it is the falling things that run slow...and the people with 2000 followers!
I love the memes..but, some of them are just too large. I have started to wait until later to join to see if it is a 125 link one, and then I just pass on it. I do not have a large following, so, if someone visits me, I try to visit them....at least once in the week. I love my blogroll....better than the followers thing. I check my Blogroll at least once a day, but then again, I am no longer working and have the time. I think blogging should be fun and for you...but with that being said, I do think that if someone regularly visits you and comments, occasionally, we should touch base with them. I know I have a few that I read all the time, but they rarely if ever write me. I wonder if I offended them at some point?? I try to be encouraging and positive in my comments...I would never want to hurt anyone intentionally.
So....all that being said, write the blog etiquette book for all of us out here...but until then, just continue to be you...that is good for me!

Just Breathe said...

Thank you for the tea party, that was fun.

Wsprsweetly Of Cottages said...

My goodness, you can chat all you want! If we didn't chat there would be no blogging etc. etc. I have often thought of similar questions...
Another is when someone decides to follow your blog, don't you write and thank them? What is a tiny concern is that they expect you to have something interesting to show them or to say, but mostly to show them, and I just don't always do. So..I chat. Like I am now.
I loved reading this post and I don't think you are blowing your horn to direct us to someones blog that is mentioning yours. That's how it is done I think. I think we all think about the things you mention. Self promotion is sort of a funny feeling. I agree, but I see it done all the time. Even giveaways ask you to post their blog button about their giveaway and give you extra entries if you follow them...so...you know... :)
Thanks for the food for thought.
Mona

Pat @ Mille Fiori Favoriti said...

Hi Laurie!

You asked some wonderful questions and I appreciated reading everyone's answers. I think we all have to do with our blog what makes us happy. That way it's fun and not a chore. I don't like strict "rules" -- who is making those rules and what gave them the power to do that?

I do try to comment back to everyone who comments to me just because I like to keep in touch that way, but on some busy days or weeks I may miss some. When I join an event I try to visit some new blogs each time, as well as return comments that I get. I don't type fast ( two finger hunt and peck..lol) so it takes me a long time to comment, so I could never get to everyone as much as I'd like to!

I do love your blog each time I visit! Thanks for this sweet tea and chat! I love your honeybee teapot!

♥ Pat

Celestina Marie said...

Hi Laurie, Sure enjoyed joining you for tea and a chat. I think good blog etiquette is just to be nice and courteous to others when they visit or blog something about you. Kindness and acknowledgment still go along way and a thank you means so much!

Having said that, I came by to say thank you for stopping by and your sweet comments about my nana's crochet. But I am blessed to visit you and catch up on your lovely blog posts. Always is a delight to stop by here.

Have a great day sweets and blessings always.
Celestina Marie

vignette design said...

Hi Laurie, What a nice little tea and chat about blog etiquette.
I think we all ask ourselves these questions, but since there are no written rules, we are unsure. It is a lot to keep up with comments, following, reading, etc. all the other blogs. I try to, but then I don't get anything else done. My family has noticed this!
Thank you for your very funny comment about hanging a bra on the wall. You cracked me up! And I thought it was the nicest compliment!
xoxo Delore

KarenHarveyCox said...

Hi Laurie,
I think that it is difficult to remember why you started blogging. Sometimes I get so caught up in all the fun parties, that I forget that I really wanted to begin a blog to escape the shoulds in life. I think you do a lovely job at blogging. Lately I have been spending more time creating than visiting blogs. I think it is something cyclical. Sometimes I am happy to visit skatey-eight blogs and leave comments. Other times I just write allot of posts and visit just the people who visit and leave a comment.

Blogging, well, I think it is a personal choice, but because we are women we are always concerned about nurturing everyone.

Your blog loads fine, I love your large mosaics. I love your tablescapes the most.

Karen

Karen said...

First of all, your tablescape is lovely!
Wow! You sure struck a nerve with everyone. Look at the lengthy comments you've received! Yes.. etiquette is important and we all strive to do the right thing. It's just some of us are still new at this and don't know the "rules" yet. I've probably offended many people. I sure haven't meant to. Great questions though.
Sleep tight! (It's 10:30 PM here)
Karen
Ladybug Creek

Terri Morse said...

I enjoyed all of the lovely things you've shared today. I'm a big fan of blue and white transferware, so I really liked your tablescape. With regard to your question about visiting every participant in a group, have you read Beverly's comments about Pink Saturday on her blog, How Sweet the Sound? Even she says that she can't possibly visit every participant every week. I think that these groups are about community - not obligation. We would all need a personal secretary and a salary to meet that kind of obligation. Blogging would become a chore and a burden instead of a vehicle for sharing and friendship. I think it's unfair to expect that kind of slavery from anyone. I do think that it's important to try to acknowledge those who take the time to comment on your blog. After all, they've taken time from their busy schedules to visit you. Many of us join these groups for the sense of community and shared interests. With all of that being said, do what is possible for you. Your friends will understand. Have a wonderful week, and don't be too hard on yourself! It's a pleasure visiting you. Hugs, Terri

linda said...

so glad i found your cute blog i just love the tea set with the birds on it .my daughter just started her own blog dont know if you know her it is
debbie-debbiedoos.blogspot.com.mabey you know her from rms

lvroftiques said...

Wow Laurie great questions! If anyone should write the book on blogging etiquette it should be you!...Sorry bout the additional pressure *winks* But you are consistently kind to everyone, and I have no idea how you do all that you do! You are AMAZING! I just didn't feel I had the time to get back to those who commented on my blog, and I felt it was rude not to kwim? The pressure was too much for me, and I was blogging for all of ten minutes. I think you do the best you can. But certainly when someone is hosting a party you participate in, to not comment to the hostess would be rude! Why would one even WANT to participate in a party they wouldn't be interested in commenting on? My two cents worth...yes I know I'm a little long winded....I wish I didn't have to go through that durn word recognition process on so many blogs! My dyslexia must kick in and sometimes it takes me two or three tries to get it right and by then I've forgotten what I was going to say (Which is probably just as well lol!) Vanna

Lynn@ The Vintage Nest said...

It's me again this morning. Loved this post! And all the answers and the consensus seems to be politeness and good etiquette and good ol' common sense...easy...right? It's like going to a real party. Of course you should compliment the host/hostess and then try and see everyone there even if it's just a hello but it's impossible to do that...time just slips away. On those very large memes it's impossible to visit everyone but I do try to always visit those that take the time to visit me. On a couple of regular memes I have switched to every other week or less but I still want to see my "old" friends. ....Does any of this make sense? Your blog does take a while to load for me but then it's probably just my dumb ol' computer. xoxo

Lady Katherine said...

Laurie, your teapots are wonderful. I adore the tea! Thanks for the nice comments about my blog. I wish I could visit everyone, I just know I am missing so much. I went to google reader for a long time, but couldn't comment. I did get to enjoy so many blogs. It is fast but not personal.
Love you tea!