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Thursday, October 23, 2008

IT'S MY BLOG, AND I'LL CRY IF I WANT TO...

AND I'LL WRITE AS MUCH AS I WANT TO....AND I'LL SHOW AS MUCH OF MY CLUTTERED "DECOR" AS I WANT TO!


There are several reasons for this posting, and I'm sure that most of you probably don't care about those reasons. Well, I AM going to write about them, so, if you are someone who is not interested (which I imagine would be most of you), exit now, and forever hold your peace!

One of the reasons for this posting is probably that I have been in the bed with the flu for almost a week, and I'm still not feeling well. Another reason is that, while laying in the bed, in and out of consciousness, I have been wondering why I am doing this blog. It is not like I have time on my hands and need a hobby. I have a full-time job, and I stay busy with activities outside the home. I have very little self-confidence, so a blog is not something I should be doing. I am one of those women who has never "put on her big girl panties" (even though I have some that were sent to me by a friend who thinks I need to put them on). What other people say still has an impact on me. After a lot of self-questioning of my reasons for this blog, I have reached some conclusions, and I'll be sharing those conclusions now. So,again, if you are not interested, which I would imagine most of you are not, exit now.

Now that I've probably lost any audience who came into this posting, I'm going to reveal the conclusion I have reached. I am writing this blog for ME! Yes, it is self-serving, but I always try to be honest with myself, so I have had to admit that I am the reason for the blog. Growing up, I always believed that I would be a writer. I wanted to be "Jo" in "Little Women". As a child, I would go up into the attic of our house and write page after page of nothing (yeah, I know, now I'm doing it on a blog). As I grew up (actually, I'm still working on that), I realized that I not only didn't have the talent for writing, I also didn't have the self-confidence for writing. I realize one rejection would be all it would take for me to put the "book" away, and never attempt getting anything published again. You cannot imagine the courage I have had to summon to post a blog! I realize now that I should never have told anyone about it and kept it my private place, but at the time, I had not yet admitted to myself that I was doing it for me.

Anyone who has read any of my blog, knows that I apologize for my "books" in every blog I write. In my heart, I KNOW that nobody wants that much information. I know that, even my friends, don't read every word I write, and that's okay. If they weren't my words, I probably wouldn't read all of them either. I know that my friends leave glowing comments on my blogs, and I also know that is because I have such kind friends. In the midst of those glowing comments, came the one anonymous comment that started me analyzing my reason for my blog. It was such a tiny comment, but for someone to have gone to the trouble to leave the comment, they must have felt the necessity to attempt to let me know something. Well, it worked. The comment, and I quote, was "zzzzzzzzzz"(give or take a "z" or two). Of course, if I am putting someone to sleep, I do not understand why they have read the entire posting. If they didn't read the entire posting, how could they judge it by only reading a portion? And why do they feel compelled to leave a comment? As I said earlier, just "exit". Don't waste your time reading something you don't find interesting, and certainly don't waste your time telling me about it. Nobody, including my friends, is required to read my blog, because I have come to the realization that this blog is for me. It is fulfilling my dream of writing. When I write a posting, I am that child again, attempting to be "Jo" in "Little Women". I am merely indulging MY fantasy.

Now, on to the next topic (of course there is more, did you think I could stop with just that?). Those of you who saw my rooms posted on RMS, realize that my "decor" is not what most people enjoy. I love being surrounded by my treasures. Many of them were inherited and others were collected, and each of them holds special meaning. I have actually cried when I've watched those shows on t.v. when a professional is telling people that if you get rid of the object, you'll still have the memory. I know in my brain that is true, but I also know in my heart that I can't make myself get rid of those treasures. Okay, I'm going into another self-analyzing trip here.. self-analyzing is something I do frequently, so if you are not interested (and why would you be?), exit now. I was adopted when I was three years old. I have nothing from my biological family and no memories of my biological family. I've always wondered if that is the reason I feel the need to keep all of my memories through "things". No, I'm not trying to make excuses, I just believe that may be the reason I have so much trouble parting with "things".

I know that I am supposed to "lay up my treasures in heaven" and hopefully, I am doing that too. I try to be a kind and generous person, and I just have to hope that the fact that I lay up material treasures (although my treasures do not have much monetary value) on earth does not keep me out of heaven. I know some people "rotate" their accessories in their homes, but I haven't seemed to be able to make that work in my home. So, this is the way I live, and I've decided this is the way I like to live. My dh apparently loves me enough that he has decided this is the way he will live too, and he even adds to my collections at times!

I expected some criticism when I posted my rooms on RMS, but I never expected people to be so passionate in their criticism! Why does anyone care how I live? Why does anyone think they have to convince me to change the way I live? I am content in my home. I am aware that most people who come into my home wonder why in the world anybody would have so much "stuff", and sometimes that bothers me, but not enough to make me do anything about it. It takes so much courage for me to post a picture of my home on this blog, so, if you are one of those people who, when they see a picture of my cluttered home, are compelled to tell me that my clutter makes them crazy and that I have to do something about it, please just exit. This is my blog, and I'll write and post what I want to -- even if nobody else ever visits it. (How's that for "putting on my big girl panties"?)

Now that I have realized that this is my blog and that nobody else has to read it, (and after this posting, I probably won't have any visitors), I'm going to quit apologizing for my books and my clutter (I hope). After all, it's me. Take me the way I am or JUST EXIT. Thank you for stopping in my blog. Remember, you may exit at any time. laurie (bargainhunr)

37 comments:

santamaker said...

Oh my dear ((((Laurie )))),
You know, I read every word you wrote and I didn't want to take a nap at any point...LOL! That was a rude comment, I don't understand why some people feel like they need to be so rude.
I read your blog because I have grown to love you and I can SO identify with your thoughts, it's like I'm reading about me! I have to agree, there's a reason why we love our things, and it usually has to do with our childhood. Hey, I'm in the same boat !Yes, we do these blogs to satisfy our need to be heard and acknowledged and it's wonderful that we can get feedback by others like ourselves. I love your sense of humor and your lovely little treasures, so YOU GO GIRL !!! Write to your hearts content, you deserve to be heard!
Be good and get better soon!
Rose

salmagundi said...

I applaud your relevation! I, myself, write for myself and those who love me. I want my descendants to know what I cherish and why. Go for it!!! Sally

Anonymous said...

Oh my dear sweet Laurie there has never been a word you wrote that I and I am sure the rest of the people that know you and love you have not read... I am so glad you have decided not to apologise about your books, I love your books, hey I overshare too. It's one of the things we all love about you. Unfortunately people who leave rude comments can track a person down. Just know that the very troubled person who left such a rude comment is someone who is sure to be pitied. I can assure you they don't have friends who love every word they write nor family and friends that adore them.
Please know that I never thought you have had one single thing to apologise for.. you have a dream home filled with things you love sweetie who wouldn't admire that? If you could see yourself as I do I think you would be amazed. I love your blog it is entertaining, creative, and most of all more of Laurie! God has blessed us with your presence, please write to your heart's content.. I hope you won't mind that I will continue to read... Love you, Cindy

Melissa Miller said...

Laurie, You made me laugh out loud. You go girl! You're absolutely right. It is your blog and your home.
We should all strive to be comfortable with ourselves in everything we do!
I, for one admire you for posting a blog....I haven't... yet. LOL! Have a good one and feel better soon. How about some tasty chicken soup? Take Care, Melissa

Bo said...

Hey there Laurie...What a tacky start you were given to blogland, but I'm so glad you saw it for what it was...don't you want to just put a knot on somebody's head when they act that way...LOL...Anyway, I didn't get to meet you at RMS so I'm looking forward to seeing every pic and every word you want to share. I'm sure people think I'm a clutter-puss, but I LOVE my clutter!...ain't gonna change!!!
Hugs, ;-) Bo

Carrie said...

I have just read this entire post bacause it covers some of the same concerns I've had during the past year of blogging. I suffer from insecurities which makes me astonished when people applaud something I've posted. But it is because I do enjoy blogging more than not that I keep on putting posts together on the various interests that I have.

Kristens Creations said...

Hi Lauri, I just found your blog and I think it's great! I love your bewitched tablescape, it's really cute! I just started my blog about a month ago and I was scared what people would say too.(still am) There are always going to be a few meanies out there. It's true though, this is your blog and you can do whatever you want! I'm glad I found you because I think it's great!!! KristenB (RMS)

Pam said...

Hi Laurie, I am with the others who commented here--I think your blog is GREAT! Anyone who takes the time to leave a negative comment on a blog needs to get a life!
And, I love your postings on RMS! I find it interesting that people feel the need to critize someone else's home. As for those complaining about clutter--I wonder how 'warm and cozy' their homes are without anything in them??
Keep up the great work! And don't let the zzzzzz people get you down! :) Pam (pc25)

Kristens Creations said...

Hey! I live in a small town in Arkansas too. We might be neighbors!

Lady Katherine said...

Hi, I know you are feeling down, I seen some of your blog and would not have subscribed if I had not liked it. As a new blogger since May and still learning, I hold on to a lot of thing, my collection, and they are mine and what I love. If no one likes it then they should not be reading my blog. I just post on the things I love and hope someone out will love the same things as I do. I have found it funny that things I post I think no one will like makes the biggest hit. So hang in there get some chicken soup and some oj, get to feeling better and know we all have insecurties of some kind. Keep your chin up and pull up your boot straps and keep on blogging! My blog has brought sunshine into my life and when you feel better your sunshine will be back.

Lynette said...

I'm giving you a great big clapping, standing ovation!! You have clearly and cleverly expressed EXACTLY some (OK MOST) of the same doubts I've had over the past week and a half since I've gotten my blog off to a start. One of my secret dreams, desires, wishes, whatever you want to call it is to be a writer. I've always thought you had to have ideas and people running around in your head to tell a story and then the most incredible thing happened - my daughter left for college and I started a blog for the same reason you did - for ME!! Sure, it was to show off my home a little, but it was to write down my thoughts and inner most feelings with nearly perfect strangers and then y'all have somehow helped fill an empty little spot in me and I love it!! Ignore the bores that bash on you Laurie - we love your posts and I do rush home to check my blog, your blog and all the other's that have become dear to me!! I want to keep up with what is going on in your lives and homes and see what new story or funny event I can post about. OK, I'm done, but I'm NOT EXITING!!!
Lynette

Glenda said...

Bout damn time you quit apologizing.
About half way through an e-mail, I've been known to say, "To make a long story short(too late now)". I honestly don't think of myself as "oversharing" so much as trying to be sure that the person I am communicating with, completely understands what I'm trying to say and the point of view I'm coming from.
Unfortunately there are people in this world that attempt to build themselve up by tearing someone else down. On a forum I participate in sometimes one poster has the following as their signature: "Never argue with an idiot... They'll drag you down to their level then beat you with experience."
God, I wish I had said that. Truer words were never written or spoken. There is no argument here, but the principle holds true. If a person is ignorant, they can learn. My experience has shown me however, that stupid is all the way to the bone. I'll end my "book" with these parting words, that I'm sure you've heard before-"Consider the source". Since it was anonymous they have by their on admission said they are a nobody.
Awaiting your return to good health, and all the posts you choose to share with us, your loyal fans.

Happy To Be said...

YAHOO!!! you finally fixed it so I don't have to keep my mouth shut...Oh girl you know I love ya and your blog...I told you so in my PEM...Now here's a BIG cyber hus to you dear friend and a LARGE smile..now get to bed..don't worry about the world... stay warm in your old use to be white robe girl..Gloria

Susan (Moonlight and Magnolias on RMS) said...

Well Laurie...the comment that was left on your blog if truly a reflection on the person who left it and not on you! It would be like inviting yourself to dinner at someone's home and then complaining about the food. I love your blog and would be terribly disappointed if you ever stopped blogging. You made one mistake though in what you wrote. You may think you are only doing this blog for you, but you are wrong. Your readers/fans out here KNOW you are doing it for them, too...'cause we are all enjoying it! Got that??? :-) Love ya! Susan

Lady Katherine said...

Hi Laurie, Somedays things just hit us harder than it usually would. I know, I have to keep it checked a lot now. I am ill too, but mine is breast cancer and 39 surgeries and more comming. Going thru test and thearpy. Got have a MRI soon, to check the new tumors out. So I know when you are sick, things just get you down a lot easier than if you were well. I hope you the very best in getting back on your feet, they say the flu is bad. I just got my first shot this week for it from my asthama doc. Stay warm drink some liquids and I can't wait to read your next post. Maybe it will be about the bad old flu. lol. No, just picking, your blog is great, I am sure you could teach me a few tricks. Guess what I LOVE CLUTTER!!! You should she all my stuff. Still remodeling and one room is piled high to ceiling. But my others are deco in clutter. Just what I like. I wish I could go bargain hunting with you. Its my most favorite thing I love to do, My heart starts racing when I find something I love. Get well soon. Oh gosh you live in Arkansas, I love Ashdown, Magonolia, favorite shops there.

Lady Katherine said...

Hi Laurie, Somedays things just hit us harder than it usually would. I know, I have to keep it checked a lot now. I am ill too, but mine is breast cancer and 39 surgeries and more comming. Going thru test and thearpy. Got have a MRI soon, to check the new tumors out. So I know when you are sick, things just get you down a lot easier than if you were well. I hope you the very best in getting back on your feet, they say the flu is bad. I just got my first shot this week for it from my asthama doc. Stay warm drink some liquids and I can't wait to read your next post. Maybe it will be about the bad old flu. lol. No, just picking, your blog is great, I am sure you could teach me a few tricks. Guess what I LOVE CLUTTER!!! You should she all my stuff. Still remodeling and one room is piled high to ceiling. But my others are deco in clutter. Just what I like. I wish I could go bargain hunting with you. Its my most favorite thing I love to do, My heart starts racing when I find something I love. Get well soon. Oh gosh you live in Arkansas, I love Ashdown, Magonolia, favorite shops there.

lvroftiques said...

Laurie you just keep on doin' what you're doin'! And to the person who left that comment....Get lost!...Hit the road....get a life...buh bye!! Laurie you are a joy! And that's THAT!! *winks* Vanna

Anonymous said...

Laurie, I can tell you were meant to a writer, me, not so much! Don't let anyone make you feel bad about your blogging or your decorating! I hang on to every word, and am always disappointed when I come to the end. Also when I check everyday and there isn't one!, and your home! don't get me started, you know I love it! It is my favorite, and I go there just to gawk! I am glad to see you are feeling well enough to blog, I got a flu shot today. Love Ya! Connie

imjacobsmom said...

I have to keep this short and sweet because I am supposed to be "helping" my son do his homework (who am I fooling - Im doing his homework because it is due tomorrow and the kid needs all the points he can get....he can't afford half the credit (I digress :) I Know shame on me, but come on - I know that you all do it, too.) Anyway, I just wanted to say, that I am glad that you are you - be true to yourself, we are not here to judge you - just to enjoy your company and your comments and I hope that you are feeling better soon. I too was embarrassed to post my thoughts and pictures. I have lousy grammer, I'm sure, but Hey - that's just me! Love, Robyn

ann said...

My dear sweet Laurie.I for one,fell in love with you on RMS.It didn't take very long before I knew if I could,I wanted you for a friend.As the rest of us,we liked what we read and saw.
My granddaughter has a blog also.But only her,me,her husband,and a very few friends know.I'm not even sure her own MOM,my daughter knows,shhhhhhh.She calls it her diary.She justs has sayings for the day,and lets us know how she's feeling that day.A few pics of her,her dh, and her precious son.
I have a blog,I got your attention there didn't I.No,I really do.I was trying to figure out "SOMETHING"one day and there I was.It was a total mistake.I wrote on it 1 day.You know what?I don't even know my own address or how to get back to it.It was months ago.haha.But I did get your attention didn't I?
We all love you Laurie,and I for one have ALWAYS read ALL of what you write.You are an open book.You tell whats in your heart.And to me,that is a kazillion times better than the poor people that cannot open up.Dontcha think?....love ya...Ann

ann said...

P.S.Those people on tv are hoaders,we're not hoarders.We just love our treasures.We love our memories,and our things.We are not in the same league at all with them.
And-the people that leave those nasty remarks,and we've ALL gotten them.Are to be pitied.Why waste their time if they aren't happy with what they're reading or seeing?It's their problem,not ours.Donot blame yourself.Was it Lincoln that said"you can make some of the people happy some of the time,bla,bla?It's so true.
And,like the others say,your home-your blog.Do whatever YOU want to do.How else in cyber-land are we to get to know each other,except with words?
Remember what Tom Hanks said in his movie?The one that the name escapes my memory right now,"stupid is as stupid does?love you...Ann

Pat@Back Porch Musings said...

Laurie..I came by to thank you for visiting the back porch and following the blog.

I didn't know which direction the blog would lead when I began. You can't imagine how many people have the attitude that blogging is not such a great hobby, a waste of time, or whatever. If it weren't for blogging I would not have this amazing photography hobby, in my senior years. I've had a couple of suggestions on how to change the look of my blog, but I'm standing strong and leaving it as is. It's worked for me, since March 2007.

When you write your blog..write it the way you want to write it, present it the way you want to present it. Do what you want with your blog...don't let the naysayers get ya down!

Hope your weekend is wonderful!

Gollum said...

I think your blog is great! As for the big girl panties--the minute you put your words "out there," and your rooms on RMS, those panties were on. You might not have realized it, but they were there. I do know how you feel. Sometimes it can be hard to admit what is in the heart, much less to share it with the world--a critical world--but you've done a brilliant job.

I hope you feel better soon. Meanwhile, here's a virtual hug.

Happy To Be said...

GM Lauri...Hope you are feeling better this great Friday..did you take the Boss to bed and drink a hot coco like I told you girl?? I hear it works wonders.. You have a safe and great weekend girl and stays warm..hugs and smiles Gloria

xinex said...

Oh Laurie, I love it when you write a new blog and I love reading it and I never get bored. Don't worry about rude commenters. They don't belong here anyway. They are just plaid RUDE and have problems with themselves and it has nothing to do with what you write. You just keep on going, girl! Keep them coming. Luv ya! Hope you are on your road to recovery.

Diane said...

Laurie, Congratulations, you've taken a big girl pill! I don't know why some people feel the need to be mean or cruel, but we just need to take it with a grain of salt & move on. It really doesn't matter if someone likes your collections, you do, so that's all that matters. You've been braver than I have. I've never posted rooms on RMS because I read so many snotty comments & I didn't want my feelings hurt. Silly, I know. I wanted to share with others, so I finally started a blog & I hope people find it interesting. So I'll get off my soapbox & hope you're feeling better. Oh & BTW, I love your fireplace & mantel. :0} Diane

Anonymous said...

Laurie Eve Jones Ritchey, I hope you are listening to all those good words of wisdom people have so devotedly written you! I have learned so much reading what your blog-mates wrote..I love that quote,"Never argue with an idiot.." and that new term, "clutter-puss"..a combo-word of my two favorite things:clutter and cats! You have been so sick with the killer flu this past week, and it has dampened your Jo spirit..so take heart from all your supporters, including me, the one who has known you for 58 years or so..and 1)realize your home is a creative work of love and 2) you are a wonderfully descriptive writer! So, take that..and I hope the big girl panties that your friend sent you were bikinis , not briefs! You are NOT 60 yet! SA(Susie)
believe it, girl..it'a all true!

Shelia said...

Oh, dear Laurie...shame on the soul who was ugly to you. You know there is always someone out there who thinks their duty in life is to judge and be mean. I applaud you for spilling your heart out to us here and by the way, you are a great writer. I understood and felt your words in my heart. Yes, you write your blog for yourself, but hey I wanna come along and see it too!!
RMS, aw that's another story. I just don't go there anymore. When I first started posting some of my rooms, most folks were encouraging and really did give me polite advice. Then things began to change and some folks were just so rude and I won't lie, it did bother me. But now I'm just like you...we live in our homes for ourselves and to make us and our families happy.
I'm proud of you that you were able write your feelings out here and I say go girl!!
Be a sweetie,
Shelia ;)

Diane said...

I'm looking at your RMS posts again & they're beautiful. It takes forever for each picture to load, do you think you could add the pictures to your blog??? Or post a room at a time with all the good stuff? I loved the pearls hanging from chandelier. I use some of Mom's necklaces on the Xmas trees, so it feels like she's there helping me.... :0} Diane

Happy To Be said...

Hey Laurie sure hope you are doing better today...that flu Sucks big time..I got my shot yesterday and now my arm is so sore got 2 shots in the butt also Iron OUCH and vitamin B...Love ya girl..I have missed everyone,,Hugs and smiles Gloria

Lynette said...

Good Morning Laurie - I was checking in to say Hi and see how you were feeling today. Saw you posted on my vote blog the other night - thanks for that!! Won't keep you long, I've just been thinking about you and hoping you're feeling better!
Cyber hugs,
Lynette

Diane said...

Hi Laurie, Thanks for your comments on my chicken watermelon salad. I'd be more worried about posting rooms on RMS than on your blog, so please post your rooms! You can add more detailed comments on items in the rooms too. :0} Diane

Glenda said...

Time for the end of the "pity party", You deserved it but now it's time for it to end. As I said earlier "consider the source". Don't let anyone stop you from being you. There is only one like you, and that is the way it is supposed to be. We are waiting for a new post! I know you can do it. Don't make me wait too long, please.

tardevil said...

Well 1st of all, I hope you're feeling much better! 2nd of all, you just GO GIRL!!! Well said...I don't think your home is cluttered, I think it is "feels like home" with all your personal items, and they're displayed nicely, so what's up w/ anonymous? I have seen that there are some very mean-spirited people alive & well on RMS. As you say, if they don't like it, they can just exit without being sooooooo ugly. I have the same problem of hanging on to things, but I think it's because I grew up poor, and if I acquired anything back then, I took care of it and tried to keep it. Don't let them get to you! You have to not let the negative comments outweigh the positive ones...think of it like a see-saw. (I write a lot too)! Now cheer up!

Glenda said...

Tardevil,
I wish I could have said it as clearly as you did.

Lori said...

Laurie,
I just found your blog! I think it is very neat that so many people have blogs and are willing to open their hearts and homes to complete strangers. I loved reading your blog. People can be very rude and you know we are taught that sticks and stones can break our bones but words can never hurt us. I have found that words can truly hurt worse than sticks and stones. I have some rooms posted on RMS and some of the comments on my kitchen were just mean. I can take constructive criticism, but just being mean is uncalled for. I think your home is great (love the Halloween table) and your writing is lovely. Who really cares what others think. This blog is about you so enjoy what you are doing. I will be back to check what else you are doing! I hope you are feeling better! Lori

Cami @ Creating Myself said...

Thanks for such an inspirational, honest post! You go Girl!!!

Cute title too! ;o)